i would like just one night where i didn't feel like shit. where someone didn't make me cry. where i wasn't so insecure and shaky. where my body didn't repulse me. where i could stand on my own. where i let myself feel loved. where i felt deserving. where i didn't feel too big. where i felt safe in my own skin. where only nice, soft things took place. where i could enjoy life. where i could not hear the voice. where i felt god again. where i accepted myself. where i didn't feel pain. where i felt healthy.